Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Oh my gosh, I just typed out that title and it's still a shock for me to even write. Never in my life did I think I would be having a little girl. I shared the news yesterday on Instagram but I wanted to type this all out so I wouldn't forget what turned out to be one of the most special days of our life.
Hank and I always talked about having a few kids. I would honestly have SIX if I could, but three became our magic number as time went on. I knew that when we tried for this baby, our third, that he or she would most likely be our last. We talked often about how badly I wanted to experience raising both sexes, but I also tried to remain firmly rooted in reality that the chances of that happening were slim. I always felt like if I set myself up to accept that it probably wouldn't happen, that if it didn't I would feel okay, and if it did, it would be an amazing surprise.
This time around I felt different the moment I became pregnant. I knew exactly what night it was while we were in Switzerland, because I swear, the next day things started tasting different. Had I read this coming from someone else I would be so skeptical, like how is that even possible? But I swear, this meat (in a traditional Swiss dish) I had previously loved suddenly tasted extremely gamey and gross and this little tiny voice in my head was like- "you're pregnant!" Then later when we got home, and found out I was in fact pregnant, I woke up one morning with the oddest taste in my mouth- almost like I had pennies in there- and everything tasted horribly metallic. I could brush my teeth 10x and even plain water still tasted like metal. It was the weirdest thing. I had NEVER experienced this with the boys so that same little voice was like "and it's a girl!" But of course I didn't believe it, even when I Googled and it said it was something called Dysgeusia, which comes from having more estrogen in your body. Interesting now, considering I absolutely do have more estrogen in my body since baby is in fact a girl!
As my pregnancy went on there were some noticeable differences, and now at almost 20 weeks I look back and it's so obvious how different this pregnancy has been even thought at first it felt the same. I felt no major queasiness with the boys, whereas this time I definitely did. No true morning sickness but just felt slightly nauseous overall throughout the day here and there. This time I have had strange food aversions and tastes, have felt more tired than ever in the first trimester, and my mood swings and emotions were all over the place. With the boys I felt elated from day one, but I was really depressed the entire first trimester with this pregnancy, which was a total surprise for me and out of the ordinary.
So when we went into the ultrasound and our tech started the process, my nerves were everywhere. Each pregnancy I've been so anxious over the fact that it's not a scan just for the sex of the baby, it's an anatomy scan that checks to be sure everything is growing and progressing as it should. It's nerve wracking, but the tech kept reassuring us that this looked good or that looked good as she moved through the ultrasound, and I started to feel better. Even so, the butterflies were still going strong as she approached the end of our hour and the anticipation of girl or boy was hanging in the air. In all of our previous ultrasounds with the boys I saw a penis pop up on the screen and it was very obvious (if you're a boy Mom you know what I'm talking about)...but this time I hadn't seen that yet.
Our tech said "Okay...do you want to know what you're having?" This is all in slow motion to me, which sounds so dramatic but when I think back to it, that's how it felt- and she said "You're having a perfectly healthy baby....GIRL!" We seriously SCREAMED and I immediately started crying. Hard! It was hands down one of the most amazing moments in my life. I did NOT think she was going to say girl and when she did...it was the coolest feeling ever. Hank and I are there, crying, so excited, and I keep asking her- ARE YOU SURE? She checked so many times for me and took some very obvious photos that showed- yes, she is definitely a girl.
So now I'm sitting here typing this out, still feeling in shock. It's a really odd feeling to want something so badly and then have it happen. If baby would have been a boy I would be equally as excited and grateful and over the moon- but still, there would have been a small part of my heart that would have felt sad. I've always felt I was meant to raise a girl, and now...here we are.
We are all SO excited to welcome this baby in our family, and March can't come soon enough. The boys absolutely flipped out over the news, and they're already devising ways to make sure she isn't into any princess stuff- trucks and sports only. Hank and I had such a sweet conversation last night about this new relationship he'll get to have as a father, and all of his "girl Dad" friends have been texting him the nicest (and funniest) words of wisdom and excitement. We've had a name for her for years and years (I'll share soon), and it all just feels so right. When she arrives our little family will be complete. It's surreal. And most importantly, baby is healthy and thriving, and everything is going well.
Thank you all so much for the excitement and happy wishes for us. It was overwhelming to read through all of the comments, and I was moved to tears so many times. I/we just feel so grateful to be pregnant again, and it's wonderful to be able to share bits and pieces of that here with all of you too. So much love.
Monday, October 24, 2016
Weekend Links...on a Monday! I started these on Friday but with the craziness of the weekend I haven't gotten around to finishing them until this morning. There are so many great things to click on, read, shop, etc. Enjoy!
Why Do Anything?
The Afterlife of a Ballerina.
This scarf is a MUST-HAVE! So cute.
And- give me all the loafers!
Guess your age with this food test. Apparently I'm 50 and live in Tennessee! ha!
The best international destinations for a solo traveler.
AMAZING -- nastywomengetshitdone.com
I just picked up a couple winter sweaters from this new-to-me brand and I'm in love! Great quality and so warm.
Such cute ankle boots.
On my reading wishlist- one and two.
Debate-watching with Hillary Clintons' BFFs. Love this.
One of my favorite things about Free People clothing is that they're so comfy and can also be maternity friendly. I'd take any of these embroidered dresses, please.
What teenagers need from us.
Frequent your local coffee shop often to work? Then this article may be interesting to you!
I'll be treating myself to one of these sweet sleep sets for hospital wear, post-baby! Nursing friendly and so comfortable.
Cute tops: one, two, and three.
And finally, I'm sure you've seen the amazing Trump Book Reports hashtag...but just in case you haven't, here you go!
Thursday, October 20, 2016
This is part two in an ongoing series I'm taking part of- #TogetherWeMother. I'm joining up with ten other mothers to share our collective experiences on a monthly topic. I'm really excited to be a part of this, and I hope you'll check out all of the other posts too, linked at the bottom. This month's topic is all about the moment we found out we were going to become a Mom.
There are these moments in our lives- markers- where there is a distinct before and after. Sometimes it's hard to even remember what life was like in those "before" times, everything seeming so much more full in the after, and then other times it might be hard to even look back. Life is funny like that- you don't always realize when it's happening, but sometimes you get lucky and are able to experience these transformative moments while acknowledging them at the very same time.
I can still remember the day I found out I was going to become a mother. We were living in our tiny home downtown and had just returned from a weekend away. Hank and I had been together for years at that point and our life was easy and breezy as newlyweds. He was touring with his band, I was teaching high school English, we were content to live in our little home and do as we pleased like the young twenty-somethings we were. But soon babies became a part of our conversation. Was this the right time? Did we really want to go for it? I'd known I'd wanted to be a mother forever, but actually putting that dream into motion seemed a bit scary.
But then suddenly there we were. It was early, maybe 5:30am, when I woke up excited because it was finally the day I could take a pregnancy test and maybe, possibly know. I opened the packaging quietly (small house, teeny tiny bathroom, Hank still asleep), and took the test. Minutes later...there it was...the faintest line. A positive. A yes. A YES! I can still remember waiting a minute, sitting there on the fluffy, white bathroom rug. I read the instructions over again. Maybe the line meant negative, maybe I wasn't seeing it correctly. I couldn't be! But yes, it was positive. There was a baby growing inside of my body, everything we had dreamed of, and there I was, in that very moment. Life was about to change. And there we were.
I ran down the hall to our bedroom, heart pounding, jumped on the bed and woke up Hank- "WE'RE PREGNANT!"
And so it began.
That morning has been the most distinct before and after I've ever experienced in my life, and definitely one of the most beautiful. It's so much more than that moment too- it's the past seven years all rolled into one, overarching feeling- I am a mother. It changes you, whether you grow the child inside of your body or meet your child later. Who you were before is still there, but even in that first moment, you start to change.
When you begin to live completely for love, nourishing someone else, responsible for keeping them safe and warm and fed, something shifts. Your heart grows in ways you might have never thought possible, and in my case, I grew a greater love for myself too. As time went on, I saw myself in a new light- through the beautiful warmth in my children's eyes- and that on its own has been one of the most life-changing and profound experiences of my life. Nursing my newborn as we stared at one another, playing with my one-year-old on the floor as he laughed, holding his hands as he looked up and smiled, learning to walk. Later having two babies snuggled in bed, one on each side, two very different people but both with the capacity to love so hard. And they see me- they really see me, and through them I have learned what it means to love unconditionally and without boundary.
Today I have those two babies in bed with me, but now their hands are on my belly, feeling their little brother or sister move around, 19 weeks and growing by the minute. When I first learned I would become a mother I never dreamed of this. I couldn't have ever imagined two little boys here, with another sweet baby on the way. I couldn't have ever envisioned how I would have changed and grown myself, from that very moment sitting on the bathroom floor, taking a silent moment to let it all sink in. I think back to that morning and I can't help but feel emotional and grateful, and in awe of how far we've all come. The before sure was sweet, but the after couldn't be any better if I dreamed it up myself.
Be sure to check out the inspiring women also taking part in this project, and read their posts as well:
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
a photo from Adie and Addison's wedding this past weekend! I was 17 weeks here. :) See my dress here and boots here.
I love doing these link round ups. It's almost as fun as actually buying all of the cute things! Fall is the best time to stock up on new items, and right now there are a ton of great sales going on. I've been on the hunt for a couple cute maternity items that will get me through the next five-ish months, so I'll include some pregnancy-friendly links below too! Enjoy. xo
First off- Shopbop is one of my favorite places to get Free People and other brands I love. And right now they're having a BIG sale- 25% your entire order under $500, or 30% off your entire order over $500 with code MAINEVENT16. I just got a bunch of great things I've had my eyes on forever and it kind of felt like I had an employee discount with such a big sale. Sale on sale works too, and a TON of good stuff is already marked down- I got a Chloe bag I've had my eye on forever, for basically 50% off. Crazy.
And now, some links --
I picked up one of these floral planners in the Shopbop sale. I'm so excited for it to arrive!
Another Shopbop grab from the sale- I'm loving the Out 'N About Booties so much.
Great ankle boots: these and these.
On my dress wish list - one, two, and three.
So expensive for a freaking sweater coat but SO cute.
And another sweater I'm loving- especially in gold.
This comfy looking hoodie is great.
These are my go-to pregnancy leggings. They're not maternity, but they are perfect for it! The unhappy reviews totally don't make sense to me because I can't sing these pants' praises enough!
Also, these maternity jeans are my favorites. They're pricey, but you seriously only need to invest in just one pair- they'll last you your entire pregnancy and beyond.
I really love this necklace!
Some fun Target finds: these overalls, this top, and this sweater.
For maternity, one of my favorites is ASOS! Also, this dress isn't maternity but would be perfect.
And finally, how great is this bag? Love it for Fall.
Friday, October 7, 2016
So I finished this book last night and all morning I've been preoccupied thinking about it and processing it. Have you read it? There's so much to say- and it's hard because I don't want to say too much, but I also feel like I have a lot of thoughts about it. The biggest thing is how much I enjoyed reading it. And not in a "oh this is such a fun book!" kind of way but in an up and down, all around, every emotion kind of way. I related so much to so many parts of this book. I cried numerous times. I felt elated and then really really sad. It was almost like reading someone's diary- but while the author's struggles may not be my own personal struggles, there were so many bits that had me nodding my head saying "me too" on one level or another. I think anyone would be able to find even some part of her story relatable. It was a gripping book- the author is VERY vulnerable throughout, and it inspired me in so many different ways to be more raw and real...and to speak my own truth. One word of caution though, towards the end of the book God becomes a big part of the story. I didn't mind one bit, but I know that some people may be turned off. For me though it was just part of the bigger picture and I thought it was just beautiful. And yes, that was a very vague book review, but that's how I like them. I hate knowing too much. So I'm just gonna say- go read it!
If you have HBO, you have to watch the sneak preview of the Divorce premiere that they just released. It's a new series starring Sarah Jessica Parker, and I think show will definitely be a big hit. I loved it. I thought SJP's acting was spot on, and the story (all about you guessed it, divorce!) is great. I also thought it was so interesting how my perception of her character shifted a few times just in this first episode. I hadn't seen the trailer beforehand- I just logged into HBO Go to watch Six Feet Under (my new obsession, so good!) and this was at the top. I watched the trailer after, and I actually would recommend seeing the first episode and THEN seeing the trailer like I did! Have you seen this yet? What did you think?
I'm in such a music rut right now. This happens every so often and it usually precedes a great new musical discovery or just going back to old favorites. Right now I've had the Spotify 90s playlist on a big loop while I'm doing cardio, but I'm over it. I need new music! I can remember the summer my friend showed me The Gaslight Anthem- it was such a fun time of musical new-ness, I basically devoured all of their albums over the course of those few months. I want to find something to fall in love with like that again! So rather than share something here, I'm asking for your suggestions! What is your current must-listen music right now? I love every genre, from country to classical, so I am all ears!
Thursday, September 29, 2016
We are in such a fun place right now with books- Henry is officially reading on his own and Charlie is loving it more than ever. If you've been following along for awhile you know what a big role reading plays in our lives (see our special hashtag on IG here), and the rotation of books on the boys' nightstands is always changing. Together we picked out these five books to share with you all- they're our current go-tos for bedtime and everything in between! I hope that you pick some up for any kiddos you have in your life, and enjoy the happiness to come.
1. The Pout-Pout Fish. This book brings the LAUGHS every time we read it. The first time we read it (the blub, blub, BLUB part- you'll know what I mean when you read it), they were dying from laughter. Each each time we've read it they laugh just as much. I love it. It's a cute book with smart writing, and a great addition to any home library.
2. Gaston. This is the best book ever and aside from it being one of the kids' long-running favorites, it's my most favorite kid's book too! The illustrations are phenomenal, the story is so enjoyable for kids and adults alike, and there's a totally sweet message too. If you get one book from this list, let this be it! And great news, there's a second book in the series coming out this February.
3. We love ALL Mo Willems books in this house, but recently The Pigeon Needs a Bath has taken front and center as the favorite. Another book that will have your kids laughing so hard, and you'll be right there too. I love books like this that appeal to all ages, and it's just a sweet, funny story that keeps little ones entertained from beginning to end.
4. Leonardo the Terrible Monster. This is another Mo Willems book but totally different than the Pigeon series. It's a cute story about choosing to be a good friend. And like all Willems books, the illustrations and story are equally fantastic.
5. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone- the illustrated edition. Henry and I are about to start this, and it will be our first chapter book that we'll read together! We're both so excited. I've had the book on hand for awhile, and the other day he spotted it and asked if we could start it. So fun, right? I'll keep you posted on how it goes.
Happy reading! xo
ps. see my boots here (my most favorite ankle boots ever), and my dress here! It's so incredibly comfortable- and perfect for Fall. :)
Sunday, September 25, 2016
We are SO excited. We found out right after the 4th of July and I probably wasted a million tests taking them way too early. Switzerland had been the first time since having Charlie we just didn't prevent getting pregnant, so it was almost a little unbelievable to me that we actually came home with a baby. I had a sneaking suspicion though, so I kept buying those dang tests and taking them days before I should even be doing so, until one morning I saw the faaaaaiiintest line. I'm talking barely visible. I immediately brought it out to Hank and was like, DO YOU SEE THIS?! AM I CRAZY?! And he confirmed the faint line. I of course took two more (maybe three), and lo and behold, the line was definitely there! AHH!
So here I am, 15.5 weeks pregnant and due March 2017. We are definitely finding out the sex of the baby, and if you asked me today, I'd tell you I think we are having a third boy. Before I got pregnant I SO wanted a girl, and if we had a girl I would be over the moon, but once I actually became pregnant it was such a calming thought to know that whatever sex we are having, he or she is already growing and thriving! We're just excited to meet this little person that will be the most welcome addition to our family.
I'll be back soon to talk more about how this pregnancy has been different/the same from my previous two- I have so much to say about it. I'm just SO excited to finally share the news. I entertained the idea of not telling at all, and just showing up online with a baby one day (haha), but it's been hard for me to want to post anything without talking about it, so I'm really happy to be out with the news.
March (and this baby!) will be here before we know it!
Board gifted by Letterfolk.